Being a Parent

Yay slide!

A while back a friend of ours posted an article on Facebook about the fact that being a parent is tough and sometimes awful, but since no one will EVER admit to that it makes it seem harder. Said friend had a newborn at home so the article was particularly relevant. There is definitely a period of time in those first couple of weeks that it feels as though a bomb has gone off in your house and you wonder what you possibly could have been thinking. During that time many many people tell you how adorable your little one is and tell you congratulations - but between the lack of sleep, the huge life adjustment, and the fact that your "little bundle of joy" doesn't do anything but cry, sleep, eat, and fill diapers sometimes it's hard to know exactly why you are being congratulated. And then, people start asking when you'll have another one. Now this of course is based on my own experience. I hear that there are some people for whom the transition is flawless. They spend hours staring in adoration at the new addition to their family and since they would rather hold the baby than sleep anyway it doesn't matter that the baby doesn't sleep for more than two hours at a time. But that was certainly not me - nor most of the people that I know. But I did find that after that initial newborn period - specifically when they start sleeping more and smiling - things got a bit easier. So one day, the boys and I headed out to visit the new mom and her son to help out a little and to let her know that things do get better. We had a great visit and the new mom seemed to feel better.

The first bath ever where Alex didn't cry

Two nights later Alex woke up at 1am having vomited all over himself and his bed. After cleaning everything up and sitting up with him all night, we proceeded to open up all of the doors and windows in our house and washed the heck out of everything. Luckily no one else caught whatever it was, but it was the beginning of two weeks of very little sleep. Alex now has 3 new teeth and should have another any minute now. Jacob started having nightmares (imagine waking up at 4 am to Jacob screaming "NO! I WANT TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!!!) and became extremely clingy. The boys started alternating nap times instead of taking a nap at the same time. I thought it was ironic that all of this happened immediately following my "don't worry everything gets better" visit. But the fact is, some days will always be better than others and every age has its challenges.

In the end I think that parents don't talk about the hard stuff as much because, well, who wants to hear you complain about your kids all the time? And if any of us only focused on the negatives of our particular jobs we would never want to get out of bed. And finally, when we do complain about the hard parts, people (especially those who would like to be parents but aren't) pretty much ignore us. I'm not saying that to be rude, but it's easy to say "well it can't be that bad..." and it isn't, except sometimes it feels like it after 3 days of little to no sleep.

But then something really great happens - a completely random hug or a very exciting discovery - and while it doesn't erase the 3 days of little to no sleep, it does make you feel better about it. During our visit with the friend mentioned above and her newborn, Jacob started running in circles around Alex and both of them were giggling hysterically. The friend said "I'm starting to see why someone would consider having more than one." And as long as you can remember that at 2am, it's a little less hard.